Not that I have any intention of this turning into a food blog, but seeing as how Kieran asked so nicely, here’s the story behind my curry:

1. Fry up an onion and a wedge of garlic, in some oil. Add a bit of black pepper.
2. Chuck in bits of chicken, and add some more oil and some tandoori paste and a shake of hot curry powder. Stir it all up.
3. Cook it for a while at a low-ish heat. Add some more oil if needed.
4. Chuck in a finely chopped chilli. Take great care chopping this, and avoid rubbing your eyes (last time I cooked with chillis I accidentally got loads in my eyes and ended up under the shower, hyperventilating with swollen cheeks and tears and snot streaming down my face).
5. Fling in a can of Campbell’s condensed tomato soup (it helps if you open it first) and a wee pot of natural yoghurt. Mix it like a DJ.
6. Add anything that’s vaguely brown and powdery from your spice rack. In my case, hot curry powder, ground ginger, turmeric, garam massala and cumin. A generous shake or so of each should do it.
7. Bung in some tomato ketchup, Worcester sauce, half a glass of red wine, a few dashes of vinegar, and that essential omnipresent of cooking, brown sauce.
8. Leave it gently bubbling for a while until it’s done or you’re too hungry to wait any longer.
9. Bung a plain naan bread under the grill for a couple of minutes each side.
10. Serve up, with coriander sprinkled over the top of the curry.
11. Eat.

Yum.

How do you cook yours?