One thing I have particularly despised about Glasgow is the sectarianism. The west central belt is sadly blighted by the inflated importance of Protestantism and Catholicism and the rivalry and hatred between those who would profess to identify with them. That football has become a… well, football in this schism would be laughable if it wasn’t so tragic.
Until now, though, I’ve taken reassurance in the fact that this blight on the face of Scotland is a sickness only in irrelevant little corners of Glasgowshire that nobody really cares about.
Imagine my shock and disgust, therefore, when I read in the Sunday Herald that this weekend saw Inverness’s first Orange march for twenty years. I nearly shed a tear as I read that the Weegie disease has now infected the Highlands (see also the Inverness Courier).
I cannot state enough how pathetic I regard Orangeism to be. Originating in the Protestant communities of Ireland who are descended from British migrants, it’s ostensibly a movement that stands for Britishness, for Protestantism, and for loyalty to the monarchy.
However, it’s sad that those three beliefs actually have no logical basis. Let me explain:
Britishness – Orangemen are from Ireland. Simple as that. They come from Northern Ireland. Northern what? Ah yes, Ireland. They might be the ancestors of Brits, but that was hundreds of years ago, and that makes them less British than the average Australian or American. So how can they claim or uphold a nationality that isn’t theirs?
Protestantism – what is Protestantism, except a version of Christianity? It is nothing more and nothing less than an interpretation of the relationship between people and God, and a model of church government. You cannot be Protestant without being Christian, in the same way that you can’t be Northern Irish without being Irish. And Orangeism demonstrates that it is not Christian, and therefore can’t be Protestant.
Think about it: people who love Jesus and want to tell the world about him are Christians. People who wear bowler hats, play the flute and have a warped view of history are just twats and wouldn’t know Protestantism if someone nailed it to them.
Loyalism – quite how the Queen feels enamoured by having the drunken allegiance of a bunch of fat, Rangers top-wearing, uneducated neds, I am not sure. Certainly most people on this side of the Irish Sea couldn’t give a hoot about what loyalists think. It’s sad and deluded that they are loyal to something that doesn’t actually want them.
The fact that that there are people over here, in Britain, who actually empathise with these retards is astonishing. I’ve seen one or two Orange marches in Glasgow, and have only just managed to resist the temptation to shout at them to go back to Ireland.
I hope that their filth one day leaves Scotland. Or at least never rears its head in Inverness again.
And don’t get me started on the other side of the divide…