I enjoy hearing in church and reading in blogs like Graham‘s and Darren‘s about how the team gets on. It’s not only a well-organised league and a seemingly very high standard of play, but it also creates great outreach opportunities as apparently not all players are Christians (something which I believe applies to the other teams too).
However, one thing I’ve always been intrigued about is the league St Silas play in – the Strathclyde Evangelical Churches League. Why is the league strictly limited to evangelicals, to the exclusion of churches that might define themselves as liberal?
Being a raving liberal nutter myself, you’d think I might be offended. But instead, I am quite sure there are very valid reasons why liberals aren’t allowed to complete in organised church football.
101 reasons, in fact…
- Liberals would allow any red-carded player to stay on the field as long as they wanted.
- Liberals would shuffle the goalposts along the line to make it easier for strikers.
- After a defeat, a liberal team would argue they should have a second chance to win the tie.
- Liberals would dispute that there should be such a limited definition of “goal”.
- Liberals would introduce rolling substitutions, saying it enables constant renewal.
- Footballing talent would count for nothing in a liberal team – everyone deserves an equal chance of playing, no matter how awful they are.
- When defending attacks down the wing, liberals don’t focus on the cross as much as evangelicals.
- Liberals would want to keep reinterpreting the offside rule every season.
- Liberals would be at a huge advantage on the field because evangelicals would want to stop to pray for their “misguided” opponents at every tackle.
- Relegation would be abolished, and everyone would get promoted, regardless of results.
Your suggestions welcome…