As our minister, David, reports, this Sunday is a big day for St Silas – we will enjoy the company of not one but two bishops, for a very special service of baptisms and confirmations. David has asked us all to “behave”.
So of course the natural thing to do is think of 101 things to do when the bishop visits church. You know the routine, join in with your own suggestions!
- Sit at the back with a sign saying “the only good bishop is a Harold Bishop”
- Use a catapult and ammo to try to dislodge the bishop’s tall hat thing. Extra points if you can also f’ting! the communion silver.
- Loudly and excitedly whisper “look, it’s the Pope!” at the start of the service.
- Grill the bishop afterwards about his views on the Windsor Report: should the Royal Family really have a second home in the country?
- Go up to the bishop afterwards and say “nice walking stick. How long will you be using it for?”
- Encourage your friends to all come dressed as bishops, as a mark of respect and welcome.
- Encourage your friends to all come dressed as Harold Bishop, as a mark of… well, I’m not sure what.
- Hide. Get everyone else to hide too.
- Make your phone go off loudly in the middle of the service. Stand up and announce that it’s the Primus on the line.
- Compliment the bishop on his ability to walk forwards in a straight line – tell him you thought he was only capable of walking diagonally.