Besides sorting my move to Glasgow, there’s been another drama which almost threw my life off course, and to be honest I am lucky not to have needed medical or psychological help. I guess I should admit it publicly to get it out in the open.

Last week, I was round at a couple of friends for dinner, and they… well, convinced me to try something I’d never tried before. I’d heard about it, naturally, but never really thought about trying it. They said it was ace, it would be right up my street, I’d love it, it would change my life. They gave me a few of them and told me to go home and try them.

And so I did. That night I sat down on the sofa with all the required paraphernalia, and tried the first one. It grabbed me instantly, and transported me without any feeling of movement into a new dimension, one in which I could not ever dream of doing without it. Before I knew it, I’d had the first one and was desperate for another, for more, for more of the same. So I went for another… and it felt just as good.

I was up until the small hours, and turned up for work the next morning absolutely wasted: red eyes, tired body, distracted mind… just thinking about getting into my next state of other-worldlyness. That evening was a write-off, and I almost missed the work night out the following evening too, because of it.

I’ve had twelve of them now, and feel that now I am into it, I could never imagine living without it. The excitement, the anticipation, the thrill, the tears, the laughter, the way your body waits, waits, waits for the next one to come and when it does the satisfaction flows through your veins like… like nothing I can describe to someone who’s not done it. That said, the first few fixes I have managed to keep under control; I think with determination I can stop it taking over my life and ruining my mind too much. All things in moderation, don’t they say?

But can someone please tell me how I made it this far in life without this wonderful, wonderful creation?